pregnancy dreaming

I"m sure you've heard, but pregnancy causes some really weird, vivid, long dreams! Here some of the more notable ones I've had over the last 9 months:

Making out with Brad Pitt!! It was amazing! I told my husband about this dream right when I woke up. He said "Good for you". Yes...it was good for me, very very good for me!! Also, making out with Leonardo Dicraprio, random young hotties, and my husband. I'm always proud of myself when I wake up and it was my actual husband that I kissed in my dreams.

Vacationing in the Mediterranean Sea with my sisters family in their yellow submarine. Cause who doesn't have one of those!?!


This will only make sense if you know The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Carlton was trying to kill Will when out of no where an 8 year old sniper assassin shoots Carlton then melts into the night.

 

Zombies...lots of zombies. The most interesting zombie dream was the men went to the basement to hide and the women had to fend for themselves. Apparently the zombies only went after women and we wanted to protect the men. So I tell my sister we need to go on a road trip because everyone knows zombies don't attack when your driving. Also, bright bird colors seemed to throw the zombies off that we were women so we were painting ourselves up in different colors.

Lead singer of Incubus fell asleep pooping on my toilet. I had to go in and flush for him and wake him up.

Multiple dreams where women were trying to steal my husband! Even Jennifer Connelly was after him! The best one was an evil genius blond in a bright yellow dress was trying to steal Scott so I beat her up...like sitting on top of her and punching her face! I've never punched someone before so I felt super tough! Then she ran away and I had to track her down cause she wasn't giving up on trying to steal my man. Well we ended up becoming good friends cause we're both smart and there was some bad stuff going down in Amish country that we needed to solve. Then a sweet Amish boy liked me and kissed me and she got super jealous. 


So I'm Emma Stone (of course) and my brother is Michael Myers. He stabs me in the stomach and Scott in the arm. We get away and hide in the bushes holding hands until a gypsy caravan train rolls by and picks us up without stopping.

Liam Neeson was turning evil so I had to have a heart to heart with him and make him realize he's good.

The worst dream was that the baby was late! My water didn't break until March 22nd and it was a really gross mess in my undies. I'm due March 16th and this baby better not be late! In fact I'm super hoping he's early!

for freeeeeee

I debated about posting this because I don't want to go to jail...if they send you to jail for stuff like this??

So you know when you go to the movie and it's super expensive just for tickets, but you really need popcorn cause it's a movie and you just NEED it!?!

Well, did you know that if you buy a large popcorn it comes with free refills?

And did you know that sometimes they forget to mark off on the tub that they gave you said free refill?

So then you can use it over, and over, and over, and over again!!

My husband likes to point out that this isn't honest, but is it really honest to charge so much for popcorn!?!

I decided to try and see how many times I could get away with getting free refills. 

My record so far is 5 times.

I admit I started to feel guilty, but it also felt really good to stick it to the man! 

(I don't know who the man is that I was sticking it to, but it felt like a sticking it to the man moment)

 

I think I'll keep my max at 3 from now on, cause really is the bucket sanitary for that long? Plus I feel like I'm owed more than 1 free refill with how much we spend at the theater every month.

Ps- Don't tell on me.

Randomitis

Sometimes I get a case of randomitis (it's a real thing).

1-Why is it uncool to wear a t-shirt promoting the movie you are about to see? Unless it opening night of course, then you should dress WAY up!! There is just no happy medium with this. [**see note on bottom]

 

Harry Potter's last movie!!  

Scott was Hermione (well as close to Hermione as we could get) and I was a Dementor (I had a black hood with my costume as well, but if I wore it in the pic you wouldn't see my pretty face :-). Our friend Craig was the perfect Harry and we may have acted out a few scenes before we left for the theater.

2-Along the same t-shirt line, I think it's funny that it's not cool to wear the t-shirt of the band you're going to see...I mean obviously you like them if you paid money to see them and wearing their shirt would show how much you do. It should be extra cool to wear it, especially if it's one you got at their concert years before. [**see note on bottom]

Note: I just bought this t-shirt, hence why I'm just holding it.

3-Along the lines of concerts I think instead of opening bands you should have magicians...to mix things up.

4-Sometimes I think when I have to pee really bad I could just eat bread or popcorn and it will soak it up...it hasn't worked yet, but it seems like it should.

5-Blase [blah-zey]; definition: indifferent to or bored with life; unimpressed, or as if from an excess of worldly pleasures. It is impossible to say this word without feeling a bit stuck up...kinda like the Heathers.

Just some stuff for you all to think about. The End.

** Please note I did not make this rule up. I'm going off of comments I've heard about how uncool this is my entire life.

who, what, where...

I hate not knowing the answers to questions or how something is going to end.
(hence why I peak in the back of books that I'm reading to know how things turn out)
These are some questions I'm going to ask God when I die:

Who killed JFK?

(I'm pretty sure there is some conspiracy there)

What is the purpose of mosquito's?

(seriously...I hate them with a fiery passion of a thousand suns!)

Where is Atlantis?

(I know it exists!)

I have some other smaller questions as well: 

What's up with the Bermuda Triangle?

What happened to the Roanoke colonists?

Aliens??

As Mandy Moore sings "Someday We'll Know", it's true...someday Mandy we will both know and it's so exciting to think that all will be unfolded to us someday! Though I'm curious as hell, I'm OK to not rush my life along to find out. After all I'm a newly wed so this next stage of my life is just beginning! But don't worry, I will continue to add to my list curiousness because lets face it, I will wonder about this stuff until I die.

Weirdness that is goodness

I have a dentist appointment this week and it got me to thinking about the weird things I love:

-Dentist pain= I think the pain the dentist causes my gums feels good...I don't know why?? When I was younger I would love to get a loose tooth because of this feel good pain.

-Mosquito bites= I hate mosquito bites just like every other person in human existence, but it does feel so good to itch them!!

-Hiccups= Are just fun!! You know you like them too. Plus, I feel like they give my insides a massage.

-Eye goobers= Not all eye goobers (cause they are gross), but the ones that I get after I put in eye drops. When I pull those ones out they tickle my eye for some reason. I like it.

-Gym sore= I love, love, love it when I've worked my butt off at the gym or any other physical activity and I'm super sore the next day. The more it hurts to move the more I love it!

-Sunburns= Not on me, but other people. I love it when peoples sunburns start to peel and I get to help it along. It's so fun! (outdoor activity only)

**Brought to you by the weirdness in Jaime's inner psyche**

Ra-Ra-Ra-Ra-Random, Random

Free style! Hippopotomus style!
I can't not say the word random without thinking of the Hippopopotomus and the Rhymenasourus....your cool if you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, here are few of some random thoughts I've had lately:

The double take...either your hot or you look weird.

Twizzlers....taste like chapstick I ate as a kid.

One size fits all tights don't actually fit all...unless your 5 feet tall or you enjoy when the crotch sags to mid-thigh like when you were 6.

Pants with stuff written on the butt are lame...it forces you to look at an ugly ass or a vain one.

Demotivator

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard of Demotivators. Well I recently came across them and was cracking up. The first one is about blogs and I thought it only right to post it here in my blog with the others I thought that were top notch.


I tried coming up with my own demotivators...but everything I came up with was really mean....like shatter ones soul mean! It's probably best I don't write any and just leave it to the professionals.