douchey voter

 

I voted early on Friday. Yay me! This isn't a political post though. I'm here to talk about the douche who stole my parking spot!! Now I don't consider me to be an angry driver, but I seriously wish I would have rammed this guy, slit his tires, and cut him!

So here I am just minding my own business waiting for a car to back out so I can park in the spot when the douche who is waiting behind me whips around me and STEALS my spot!!!  I mean it was a full on steal!! Not a "we got there at the same time who's spot is this?", it was a full on "I'm a car BEHIND you, and a douche, so I'm stealing your spot!" I had to slam on my breaks to avoid hitting his crappy mini van. Please see the the diagrams below.

Diagram 1

Diagram 2

I parked in an open spot just a little way up the aisle (cause there were many more spots), and I thought I would tell him how rude he was, but then I saw he had a handicap sticker and walked with a cane. Plus his wife was gimping along the sidewalk. So as I walked past them I didn't say anything cause I wondered if that would make me the jerk for telling off someone who has handicaps?? Well as I stood in line I just kept fuming and decided that they probably had problems walking cause they were overweight, which is something they did to themselves and not a legit handicap, but how do you not look like a tool in front of all the other voters when you tell a guy off out of the blue?? None of them saw the incident, so that would just make me a big douchy angry driver! Guys, I missed my window!!! Ugh!! So every few minutes I would turn around and give this look:

Yeah, I know how to really hurt people! I'm seriously still boiling about this incident and my lack of yelling at someone. Since Batman wasn't there to right my injustice now I'm just waiting for the next person to do me wrong to take my wrath out on them. I'm a super villain in the making, look out everyone!!!

same same

(This is not my "Oh no he didn't!" face [though it's probably pretty similar], this is my "shaking my finger no no shame on you" face...which apparently doesn't convey in a picture like I thought it would.)

I have a serious issue to discuss with you all...I kinda have a beef when people post ALL the same pics or comments on Instagram, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. I'm sorry if this applies to you, I don't think less of you, but I just can't hold it in anymore! I know I'm guilty of doing this myself from time to time (really who isn't??), but there are only a few exceptions that I feel allow for same same (not necessarily in this order):

 travel pic of someplace cool to make everyone jealous
new baby

engagement

hair cut

wedding

professional photo shoot

new home

 life altering moments

zombies

meeting a celeb

major epic events

and other things of similar quality

If any of the above happens, you have my permission to post on all the sites the exact same thing all you want! If not, then here's why you shouldn't: when your stalking someone (in a non-creepy way) you don't want to see ALL the same thing on ALL their sites. It's as simple as that. What's the point of following someone on Instagram if they're just gonna dump all the pics on their blog every week?? Or follow someones Twitter when they're doing the exact same post on FB?? May as well only follow one of their sites. I will allow a same update, or photo or two here and there, but more than that and I will have to say Good Day! (that was said in a Fez accent from That 70's Show...in case you were wondering)

I know people are worried about their fans, but I bet the people who follow your blog or facebook or whatever, are following your other media venues and if they're not, won't having new stuff make them want to follow all that you do?!? Just sayin.

So in conclusion, if you vote for me I promise to not do same same!

The End

**please note that I will alter above list as I deem necessary.

chuck norris round house kick to the head!

Sunday: Scott and I got our car broken into!

Which sucks in itself,
but double suck because my purse was in the car with over $500 in cash and gift cards we got as wedding gifts.
I was going to the bank the next day to deposit the cash so it was in my wallet. Plus my sparklers were in the backseat and I was going to save them for my birthday!
Let me just tell you how I feel:
Aaaggghhhhh!!!
Grrrrrrrr!!!!!
I want to cut a stupid crack head!
I'm so angry,
and sad,
and violated!
I don't understand how people can do this!
Here is what I want to do to these thieves:I really need to listen to my instincts more.
I first had a feeling to leave my purse in the house. I even turned around to leave it,
but the front door was locked and I didn't have my keys on me.
(I guess Scott being 10 feet away was too far)
Next I got out of the car and forgot my purse. I had the feeling to grab it.
I went to open the car door and Scott had just locked it, so I left it.
It would have taken 2 seconds to yell to Scott to unlock the door, but I didn't.
Always, always, always follow your instincts!

Tuesday: I found my purse in the dumpster by the crime scene!!
I had a feeling to check where I've already checked twice before, and I am not ignoring my gut feeling anymore after the theft.
There was my purse just sitting on top!
Granted it was totally ransacked and smelly, but I have peace now knowing that I found it.
Things they took: Of course all the money and gift cards,
my ID and insurance card,
some prescription medicine,
my MAC makeup and peacock compact,
sunglasses and other small items.
I got back my sparklers though! Wooohooo!
Also, my temple recommend card,
and all the hour off parking passes I've been saving up for the Gateway!

I'm still angry and ticked that they got so much from me,
but I've learned to not ignore those small promptings, gut feelings, holy ghost, all of the above.
Maybe that's what God was trying to teach me.

It's the Claw!

I've decided painted nails are weird and make people look like witches....unless their painted black, cause that's just coolor vanilla bean, which is my favorite, and to prove it is my nails hard at work here. I'll even allow a pale pink or other similar light colors.and pushing it but I will let a little funk slide and be ok for nails as well I'll even allow the painted nails to support your teams color...the night you go to the event. But every other time, every other color is either the witches color, evil, slutty, or just makes your fingers look stubby. Yes even those of you who love red...it's just scary and makes me think you want to claw my eyes out. Here is some shocking true life photos to support my case:

(this one is mental and may be plotting your death)

(total slut)

Now fake nails and ugly designs...that's just wrong and weird and makes you look like you live in a trailer.
I'm sure there are some instances where painted nails are cool and not scary or slutty or bitchy, but I would have to take that on a case by case basis. Also please note that these rules do not apply to to toenails...except the fake nail rule...cause that would just be weird to have fake nails on your toes.

suckiest of the suck

I've compiled a list of a few of my least favorite creations that man has come up with over the last century or so. Seriously...what were they thinking!?! This is not in any order cause really they are all at the same level of suck for me.

1. Nylons. I have to wear them to work every day! Needless to say I break that rule, but why do they exist in the first place?? They are not cute, fashionable, purposeful, or comfortable! The occasional black sexy thigh high is the only one I will concede that has it's uses.

2. LA Lakers. I hate them and their little dog Kobe! I don't think it's right that they allow teams in big cities to go over the spending cap so they can get all the big name players to get them titles almost every year. Not very sportsmanlike!

3. Really fattening foods. I do not want to get fat, can't they just figure out how to make a really yummy food without causing obesity??

4. The movie Marie Antoinette. I wanted to slit my wrists I was so bored!

5. Atomic Warfare. It's just not nice.

6. Old lady perfume. Who was the genius that created these putrid flower scents and brainwashed all these old ladies into thinking it would make them smell lovely!?!

7. The Kite Runner. I hate this book and wish I never would have read it! This book and others like it that tell stories of kids getting raped and murdered and having crappy lives doesn't need to be written. Our world is bad enough without some dumb ass creating a whole new world of hate. Books are meant to be escapes from the real world, not emotionally wrenching pieces of suck!

8. Lady Gaga. Someone kill her already!

9. Man thongs/ Banana hammocks. Josie Grossie!

10. Sushi. It's raw people! We're not wild animals or mermaids. Let's cook our food.

If my dream of becoming a supervillian ever comes true these will be the first to go when I take over the world! Sssssuck it list!

Mother Natures Problem

Recently I went hiking up Bell Canyon with Scotty boy, because apparently this is his summer of hiking, which means this is my summer of hiking I didn't request. Not that I don't like hiking, cause I do! I love the beauty of being out in the middle of nowhere and all the pristine views you get. I even don't mind the fact that mother nature makes you have to work really hard to see the most beautiful views, cause I love me a good view as much as the next person. I like the fact that I earned that view and that no one is around except those I'm hiking with. I love the vastness of how far you can see when you finally reach the peak and the solitude you feel. The busy chaotic city life is muted and all around you is vibrant life. See, just proved my point that I like to hike and have me some good nature time. Here's my beef with mother nature though...

BUGS....why do they exist?? They do nothing but creep me out! Plus some bite you and you have to wear a stinky spray to repel them. Even the harmless little caterpillars that I find inching up my arm make me want to shower a million times over. I find I'm constantly checking my hair for any stowaways along the hike. So in reality during a hike I don't really see the beauty that is all around me because I'm too busy being OCD and checking that no bugs are near me or in my hair. Plus, how does all that dirt get up my nose?? I didn't snort it, yet it get's up there. And why does the water have to taste so weird that's in the camel-backs?? OK that last one isn't mother nature's fault except the fact I only use one of those when I go hiking. So that's it...that's mine and mother natures problem. It's been the same battle between us since I can remember...and I don't think she'll ever relent.